Memories & Missing You

It has been such a whirlwind of emotions over here for the past week. My grandma passed away after falling last weekend, I have been nothing short of broken hearted and we miss her every single day. I flew back to Iowa for a few days for her funeral and to be with family, being surrounded by everyone that loved her was such a blessing. If you have lost someone, you know that the most comforting thing is to talk about them to anyone who will listen. We all shared memories that we had & things we will remember, like how the opening song of The Wonder Years will always bring me back to the times I spent the night at her house.

Sitting in her house sorting through pictures and keepsakes after her funeral was one of the hardest parts. The house she lived in was the house my mom grew up in, and although I knew that, I never really thought of her house in that way. In a dusty cardboard box, I pulled out a stack of pictures from Christmas morning when my mom was a little girl. In front of a tinsel covered tree sat my mom & her two brothers, surrounded by perfectly wrapped presents & my grandmas famous glass Christmas gnome figurines. I could picture my grandma taking the photo, my grandpa probably sitting in his recliner drinking coffee, and Elvis on the record player. The happiest moment. My heart broke as I sat in that very room, pictures had been taken off the walls, the curtains were dusty, my grandmas slippers sat at the foot of that recliner. She once lived in that house so happy & full of life with her family, until the very end when she lived there alone surrounded only by memories. We begged her to move to Georgia and live with us or my parents, but she never wanted to leave her home, and for the first time, looking at those photos, I could understand why. It didn’t make it any easier, but we were reminded that she lived an amazing life and was so loved.

I have boxes of photos to go through, including her wedding album, her recipe box full of hand written note cards and a small stack of her floral hand towels that were always my favorite. I’m not sure any of us is ever the same after losing someone we love, I hope that I can share with my daughters what a wonderful, strong, and selfless woman that she was. And that we can take from this the reminder that every single day is so precious & we should cherish them, because one day we will be left with just memories & old photos.

I will be missing you grandma Jean, you were the very best & we love you so much.

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26 Comments

  • Reply
    Ashley
    June 12, 2017 at 11:54 am

    So sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing my Gram and I dread for that day.

  • Reply
    Heather
    June 12, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandma died on April 20th after a short illness and this post really sums up the same thing I’m feeling. I’m so blessed I had so many years with her and for all the times my babies sat in her lap and she loved on them. Thinking of y’all!

  • Reply
    Elyse
    June 12, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    I am so sorry for you loss. This post really spoke to me. Losing my grandma was so incredibly difficult. It still is and I lost her 2 and a half years ago. Im chewing gum right now and her voice popped into my head as I unwrapped the wrapper and I was reminded of how she would always buy me “chew gum” when she went to the store, even well into my 20s 🙂 My grandpa went first and that was horrible, but there is something about losing your grandma that is just so painful. Her name was also Jean. I hope the happy memories rush in to fill in those sad moments soon. It takes a lot of time. Sending lots of love!

  • Reply
    Kitty
    June 12, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    I am so so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy but I hope you take comfort in reminiscing fond memories and looking back at her cherished photos. She must have felt so loved and also so blessed to have so many wonderful grandchildren and great grandchildren. She will always be in your heart and your girls will know what a joy she was every time you share a piece of memory of her! Xoxo

  • Reply
    Meghan
    June 12, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    Such a sweet tribute to your grandma. She sounds like she was an amazing. So sorry for your loss ❤️

  • Reply
    Jackie
    June 12, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    Thoughts and prayers continuing for your family. I had very similar feelings when I lost my grandma almost 10 years ago. You are so right, you are never the same.

  • Reply
    Michelle Ray
    June 12, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    Losing someone you love has to be one of the hardest things we go through in this life. It’s hard to remember during the daily grind to stop and appreciate the people God gives to you, because you never know when he will need them back. Sending love and prayers to you and your family as you all grieve the loss of a wonderful woman.

  • Reply
    Melanie
    June 12, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Your beautiful words have me crying at my desk. My heart is broken for you and your family.
    Wrapping you all in love and strength from Australia xx

  • Reply
    Laurel
    June 12, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    What a touching and well-written tribute to your grandmother. Cherish those memories, and do pass them on to your girls. Thinking of you in your time of mourning.

  • Reply
    Jillian
    June 12, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. This post is beautifully written and breaks my heart for you and anyone who has lost someone close to them. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  • Reply
    natasha
    June 13, 2017 at 7:33 am

    Losing a loved one that meant so much is so incredibly hard. I can’t even imagine having to do this with my own grandma one day…breaks my heart! Thinking of you and sending lots of love your way. xo

  • Reply
    Danielle Bailey
    June 13, 2017 at 7:34 am

    Beautifully written. They say time heals all wounds, but I believe time only teaches you how to cope. May all your sweet memories help you cope and make you smile. Sorry for your loss.

  • Reply
    Marlene Guevara
    June 13, 2017 at 7:49 am

    So sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family <3

  • Reply
    Lindsay's Sweet World
    June 13, 2017 at 9:08 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Jessica. Your family has been in my prayers.

  • Reply
    Tiffanie
    June 13, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    Sorry for your loss. 💕

  • Reply
    Leah
    June 13, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    This was truly very beautiful to read. So unbelievably sorry for your loss, Jessica.. but so happy for your wonderful memories! Sending prayers & love <3

  • Reply
    Beth
    June 13, 2017 at 7:41 pm

    I was sorry to hear the new of her passing. It’s never easy to say goodbye to those we love deeply. It is amazing though, how the simplest things will ignite their memories. I lost both my grandmothers over a decade ago, and I would give anything to have them meet my girls. Their memories strike me at peculiar times; a certain scent, a particular song, a few words strung together or perhaps just a flicker of their personality reflected back in the faces of my girls. And that brings me life. I wish you & your family all the best in this hard time.

  • Reply
    shannon swol
    June 13, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss jess I lost my grandma when I was 17 to canser and I was close to her I miss her every day . My other grandma is still alive thank the lord but I know it’s a matter of time she has health problems and I know it’s going to be so hard she has always been the mother figure to me ❤️ Sending you love and prayers

  • Reply
    Danielle
    June 13, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss. June 3rd marked one year since my grandpa’s passing. You hit the nail on the head–you truly aren’t ever the same. As with most things it gets easier as time passes but the memories are fading as well. Hold tight to your memories and your girls!

  • Reply
    B
    June 14, 2017 at 5:16 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort and peace as you sort through your memories and emotions. We lost our Great Gram two summers ago, just shy of her 100th birthday. It was devastating, we all thought she’d live forever. It was sudden and heartbreaking … we still go to write notes to her and pick up the phone to call only to hear that her number has been disconnected. I am so happy she got to meet my babies and we have special mementos she made just for them (she was amazing with needlepoint and knitting). Hugs xoxo

  • Reply
    April
    June 14, 2017 at 8:03 am

    So sorry to hear about your grandmother. Reading your post brings tears to my eyes. I lost my grandmother 8 years ago, but it still feels like it was yesterday. I do agree that talking about them and keeping their memory alive is the best thing. My heart is breaking for you and I’m you were able to find some joy in being with family through the sadness. Sending lots of love from my family to yours! <3

  • Reply
    Joya
    June 14, 2017 at 11:27 am

    Oh gosh, Jessica, you brought a flood of tears to my desk at work. I’m sad for you and your family and suddenly sad all over again thinking of my own grandmother who I’ve already lost and of my parents who will be at that point in the years to come. Sending you love from Texas.

  • Reply
    Allison
    June 14, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    Man does this tug at the heartstrings. As I read your words and thought about my own grandparents and parents, I felt a lump in my throat. We never seem to look at people we love and think we know so well through the eyes of the past and put into perspective what life was like for them once upon a time. It is also sobering to think that one day, that will be me…sitting alone in my recliner instead of surrounded by the beautiful chaos that is today. Love and loss are so painful but so necessary for a life well lived. Prayers for you and your family. ❤️

  • Reply
    Miranda
    June 14, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    Oh Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandma this year and know how heartbreaking it is. Sending hugs and prayers for you and your family.

    xo, Miranda

  • Reply
    Rebekah
    June 19, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    This is so heartfelt and brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to your feelings having lost my own grandma and I am so thankful we both have beautiful memories of them. So sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing.

  • Reply
    Emma
    July 4, 2017 at 5:28 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a few years ago and you’re right, the most comforting thing after losing someone is talking about them. I’m lucky that my husband is always happy to listen to me talk about my Dad, and I love any opportunity I get to talk about him with other people too. Thank you for your lovely blog and I hope you are finding comfort in your family x

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