Nine Truths & a Lie

Did you ever play two truths & a lie as an ice breaker? I always found it so fun, I love hearing random things about people. So I am sharing ten things today, more like confessions than random facts, but you get the concept. Ready?! 🙂
1. I have really been struggling with my patience with the girls & go to bed feeling guilty almost every night. Whether it is something I yelled at Harper for or things I didn’t take the time to do & should have, it has been weighing on me and I really need to find ways to do better. I need to do better at reminding myself that she is only three, and sometimes that means tantrums & relentless whining. And coloring on dining room chairs. I need to think about why I am telling her “no” and maybe consider just saying “yes” instead. I need to not get annoyed when I have to chase Eloise up the stairs, get her out of the fireplace or dive to keep her from jumping off the couch for the nine hundredth time, because that’s what babies do. Being so pregnant, emotional, uncomfortable, etc. should not be an excuse, even though I use it as one. I know, that is a whopper for number one, but I needed to get it out there so maybe I can hold myself more accountable.
2. I love my mini van & I am not afraid to admit it. Convenience is everything.
3. I have eaten chocolate chip toaster waffles almost every single morning for breakfast for the last few months. I typically eat them before the kids wake up so they aren’t asking to eat them too, because I feel like they need to eat something healthier. I hope this bad habit goes away after the baby comes! 😉
4. I want a margarita.
5. I have zero intention to stop wearing my maternity pants after the baby comes.
6. Before I got pregnant this time, I thought we would stop at two kids, or maaaaybe have a third a few years down the road. Now, I want four. But I am afraid of having a fourth c-section, as my doctor doesn’t really recommend it due to some minor complications I have had.
7. We still have no baby name.
8. I am nervous for my c-section surgery & recovery, but more nervous for surviving at home with two toddlers & a newborn on what will most likely be an hour or two of sleep at night. How how how does that work?!
9. I worry non-stop about my kids getting sick or getting hurt. Every time I hear or read a sad story, I panic & can’t get it off my mind for days. Is this anxiety or just mom life?!
10. I definitely did not cry over a spilled milkshake this weekend.
Can you tell which one’s the lie? 🙂 
Spoiler alert: number ten. Emotions running wild. 
Hope you enjoyed this depressing collection of random thoughts.
And because no post is complete without a photo, Eloise chewing on her high chair & sticking her grilled cheese between her toes.

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  1. Aww, don't beat yourself up too much for losing patience! You do the best you can, and you're only human. Your girls know you love them! It's hard enough having little ones without *also* dealing with pregnancy hormones. Pat yourself on the back!

    Have you considered a VBAC? Many, many women have had two c-sections and then healthy, uncomplicated VBACs. You could seek a second opinion if your OB GYN doesn't recommend it, and then maybe a fourth child would be less risky?

  2. I am beginning to believe that it is not just anxiety and that it's part of being a mom! Don't u remember telling your mama gosh mom u worry to much? I too live in worry and it certainly is not good for me. But when I hear of awful accidents or sicknesses, like u, I worry about it for days on in. I pray so hard every night for my kids and worry about their well being constantly. I thought I must be crazy but now I'm seeing it's most other moms not just me!

  3. I love reading candid posts by other moms. My experience with Mom Guilt is that it is an evil monster that set in pretty much the moment Ayden was born. Every minute of every day I feel guilty for something I've done or not done, especially the time that I am away at the office. Forty hours is a LONG time to spend away from my son in one week….. But I digress. Thank you for being open and honest. And I'm pretty sure I've eaten grilled cheese that was once stuffed in Ayden's toes. Mom's gotta eat! XOXO


  4. I usually do not comment on things bc I'm usually reading your blog amidst the chaos of my own two littles, but I just love this post! I've been reading your blog for two years, since I got pregnant with my first. I always look forward to new posts! You are doing a great job with your sweet girls!!! I think mommy guilt and worry gets worse with each kid! Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful blog and all the encouragement I get as a mom from reading your posts! ?

  5. I hope you felt better after writing down everything! I admire you for telling life like it is, because some bloggers aren't' "real" enough to admit their life is not picture perfect. I also go to bed feeling guilty, because my 9-year-old STILL has temper tantrums and talks back, and I am SO dreading her teen years!!!! I wish you luck with your planned c-section. I have had two, and because of that dreaded operation that I was forced into doing with my first, I am D-O-N-E with doctors. As for having kids so close in age, and sleeplessness, I wish you the best….I am a preschool teacher, so I can absolutely relate/commiserate with dealing with kids under 4! My daughters are 9 and 3, but they are still a handful together (ahem, fighting). Maybe when the baby comes, you could hire a college girl to help you part time? Preferably someone who is majoring in Early Childhood Education or has experience in preschool.
    Lol, I thought maybe the part about loving your minivan might've been the lie, but truly those things are a miracle for mamas! I have a Dodge Challenger, and I have to pretend I'm a Cirque du Soliel contortionist to get the toddler in her car seat every time.

  6. Omg that photo of Eloise is hysterical! My son does it too. I laughed out loud!
    You are amazing! It is totally an excuse to be tired and almost 9 months pregnant. I can't even keep up with my 10 month old and the family laundry! I can only imagine how over whelming it must feel having two little ones and one on the way. But you are doing an amazing job and of course, it is all worth it! Your girls are lucky to have you and are going to have the sweetest sibling relationships as they grow!

  7. I love your heart! This honesty is so REFRESHING! I often feel guilt over the things that have gone on throughout the day. I feel like I am constantly saying "No" to my daughter. BUT we have to remember at the end of the day, they need direction, and guidance! It's okay to say no, and it's great to say yes. Mom life is no joke, and it's hard! I think as the year's go on, we learn to be better+wiser. It's okay that you get frustrated(I'm frustrated right now!). Take 1 day at a time, you are the best mama to your babes, and you will continue to be! Sending lot's of love your way!!

  8. Number 9 must be a mom thing! I am always worried about my baby getting sick or hurt…or wrecking his car (you know, 16 years from now…when he is old enough to drive.)

  9. This is exactly what I needed to hear! Glad I'm not the only one thinking every single thing as well! Jeez. Being pregnant is hard. I am pregnant with baby #2 due in July also and having another c section. Thankful for these babies but gosh I can't wait to have a margarita once it's over and done!

  10. Love this mama. Hang in there. I just have one, an almost one year old baby girl and I secretly want a mini van. I also got annoyed when my daughter chased me for my last chocolate chip cookie.

  11. I'm with you in spirit. Truth! Remember to me gentle with yourself!!!!! You are doing great and yes it's so freaking hard. And sweet. And my nerves are shot. And it's boring. And it's heartwarming. Most of all I'm so sure and unsure so much of the time. I have never been more vulnerable than since becoming a mother.

  12. Thanks for sharing! Love getting to know more about my favorite blogger. I thought guilt and anxiety was just me. I am totally number one and nine. Bedtime guilt is a killer! I can't even read the news anymore because it fills me with so much anxiety and panic that sometimes I don't even want them to go outside for fear of a freak accident happening to them! Whoops. My six month old cried ALL. DAMN. DAY today so I will have the margarita for you, girl!! Or five. We are debating on wether to have a third or stay at two and I never know when I will feel "done," know what I'm saying? Anyway, thanks again for sharing!

  13. I love this. I love your honesty. And I love that you admit that you don't feel like the perfect mom. Being a mother is hardest, most challenging thing I have ever done. I question things I do on a daily basis… did I teach her enough today? Did I set a good example? Am I being the person I want her to be? It's nice to know that these things weigh on the minds of other mothers. You are a great mother and an inspiration to so many of us! If my daughter has half the amount of fun your girls have.. she's going to have a ball! Can't wait to meet baby three. 🙂

  14. You're not the only one who feels guilty for feeling impatient or annoyed. I feel like I'm comstantly struggling with it as well, and I only have 1 kid! I'm also glad to know my kid isn't the only one who likes to rub her food between her toes. Makes me cringe every time!

  15. You are not alone in any of these! We are expecting our second, who was a bit of a surprise, and I keep thinking, how do you feed a baby and catch a toddler as they launch themselves off the couch?? I have frequently cried because I feel sad that I'll be too big/pregnant to give my son the super fun summer that I had planned on. I too freak out about my kiddo getting sick and I am totally panicking that I may need a c-section with this pregnancy. I think it's all normal, and if it's not we can be weird, holiday loving, Mid-westerns together : ) Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! GIve yourself some grace, you are doing great! : )

  16. You are a good mommy! You go above and beyond the call of duty. I condone the chocolate chip waffles too if you condone me eating Cherry Pop-Tarts for breakfast? Deal. =) Did Eloise eat that grilled cheese after sticking it between her toes??? I have to know these things 😉

  17. I love reading things like this because it makes me feel normal because really having emotional or stressed times is normal and being perfect is not, so don't feel alone. You are doing a great job!

  18. Hey fellow mama! I just wanted you to know that you're doing AWESOME!!! I only have one baby girl right now, so I know I'm not quite on the same level as you as far as high emotions and energy levels in the house go….but I just want you to know you're not alone!!! This morning, I turned my back on my daughter for one second to grab her sippy cup, and she spilled a giant glob of hot oatmeal on her leg. She now has a second degree burn that I have to monitor for the next couple days so it hopefully doesn't get worse. It was an incredibly rough morning for the both of us, and I was definitely beating myself up a ton. I just want you to know that no matter what happens you have to keep your chin up, and you can't attack yourself. You got this mama. And your AWESOME!!! Love from Oregon. 🙂

  19. Number one is me to the tee right now. I'm miserable. Do not know how I will make it six weeks til baby, I'm constantly on edge with the kids and feel so bad every night and cry about it but I reay do blame the hormones. They are awful! And a margarita or four is everything I wish k could have right now!!! You're almost there mama! Can't wait to see your beauty!!!

  20. Ahhh my daughter almost 15 months has started grunting and whining for everything and I think I am going to lose it. I know I can not expect her to use words for everything but right now I would take her at lest trying something other than that awful "ehhh ehhh ehhh". That and the fact that she is completely fearless and determined I question how well I will handle her and her newborn baby sister coming this fall. As for the worry it is so a mom thing. I am surprised I get any sleep at night the amout I worry. Also I ate an entire box of thin mints today and refused to share. Mom life is amazing and trying for us all.

  21. As I was reading these, I was thinking, "that's probably true, that's gotta be true, oh this ones true!". Hang in there, mama. I'm not pregnant but my girls are very similar in age to yours, and yes it's guilt-inducing and frustrating and exhausting and scary.
    One thing my husband always says to me is, "you're doing better than you think you are". I have to tell myself that every day, even if I don't believe it.

  22. I can relate to sooooo much of this! The mom anxiety is making me nuts lately! I almost want to block every news source on my Facebook page! The patience… The Mom guilt. Ugh! Hang in there, mama! You're doing great!

  23. I hear you on all of these but especially number 1 and I'm not even pregnant. With an almost 3 year old and a just turned 1 year old, I feel like I say 'no' way too much and expect to much from my eldest. I need to hold myself more accountable too and have been trying hard since recognising this.

  24. Girl, you are not alone. I am the same with number one and not even pregnant. Overall, I really feel like my kid is probably easier and better behaved than a lot of children her age, but my goodness the testing and flat out ignoring me is insane. Also, number 9. Except mine really is straight up anxiety and it got to an unbearable limit after Kenley was born. Being overly open, and no way insinuating this is your case, but just sharing for knowledge sake because I wish I would have known earlier. I had postpartum anxiety…. probably since when Ashlynn was born 3 years ago, I never realized it then (since it wasn't depression) but it wasn't until it was actually controlling my life when K was born that I found out what it was. I'm doing a lot better now, but definitely something thats not talked about or even screened for… And to end happy, one of my fav pis of K is her with her foot up on her high chair tray eating like a boss.

  25. Love them and LOVE reading your blog. Thank you for being real. My mother had three girls and she is still alive (meaning you will survive) white hair and all. 🙂

  26. YES!!!! Finally a post that We as mommas can relate too. I've gone to bed for the last month feeling exactly like you do on number 1. I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old. I feel terrible because it seems like I'm always yelling and saying No, No, No all day long. I feel my 2.5 year old is constantly in trouble. 🙁 So I can totally relate. Hang in there!!

  27. I love your honesty. I think all us moms have been there or still there on some level, as far as patience and worrying about our kids. You're doing an amazing job! I look forward to reading your blog; I love everything about it. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  28. Thank you for this post. I love to read your blog, and I realize that life is not always what we post online for followers, but it is extremely comforting to know that you experience the same trials as other mothers. Sure, motherhood is a blast. Kids are hilarious and cute and so much fun, but they are also frustrating, exhausting, and require a lot of patience. I work full-time, so it's difficult for me to come home at the end of a 9 hour day, looking forward to the few hours I DO get to spend with my family, and then have a whining pissy two-and-a-half-year-old tyrant to handle. When all I want to do is snuggle on the couch. I saw a cartoon recently that said Moms start the day feeling like Mary Poppins, and end it feeling like Cruella de Vil. I hope you don't beat yourself up too hard. I just think about our own mothers, and how they went through the same feelings of guilt over mama-tantrums and yelling, etc., and do I remember ANY of that from my childhood? Nope. I remember my mama baking cookies for us at the end of each day, or letting us where clothes from her closet and dance to her Huey Lewis cassette tapes, or taking us on long walks around our Iowa farm. Your kids will remember all the things you do for them each day that make their lives so joyous, and when they grow up and learn that you are human and have kids of their own, they'll understand everything else.

  29. Love this post Jess! I am right there with you on so many of your "facts" … expecting #2 on June 26th and can relate big time! 1,3, 5 (BIG TIME, just ordered those $200 jeans you instagrammed because I couldn't help it and I only have 3 weeks left so CLEARLY I'm wearing those bad boys 24-7), and 9!

  30. Right there with you on SO many of these! 35+ weeks pregnant with two toddlers is NOT easy and while I'm usually abnormally patient I'm finding myself pulling my hair out by the end of most days right now. Hoping this goes away when I'm not as uncomfortable/exhausted buuuut thinking I just need to work on it! And the mom-anxiety?! YES YES YES. I've never been an anxious person until I became a mom! Now I worry all. the. time. about my kids getting some serious disease or getting hit by a car or some other accident!

    PS I love my minivan too 😉

  31. It's as if I wrote this post myself! I hear you on # 1. My oldest just turned three and I'm constantly losing my temper and yelling. I always thought I was the most calm and peaceful person until I had a toddler. He knows how to push EVERY single button; buttons I didn't know existed. I feel horrible about my lost temper but all I can do is try better tomorrow. I hear you mama. Secondly, amen on the mini van. Thirdly, I thought I was the only one who worried non-stop about my kids. I go to bed every night and have panicked thoughts. I hardly have them during the day but when my mind starts to quiet BAM all these fears start running through my mind. My mom always said you never know what love is until you have kids and boy was she right. Can't wait to read all about your sweet baby # 3:) Hugs mama!

  32. I feel the same way. You described my life to a tee, except me and my husband both have careers that are mixed into the craziness!

  33. Number 1 is real life everyday here lately. I feel like a total crazy person some days. You're SO lucky to have family close by to help out when babe number three comes along. I'd totally have a third if we we're close to home. And also, grilled cheese toes is totally a thing my two year old would do… to get the dogs to lick her feet haha.

  34. Thank you for this post! I can totally relate to this list. I have few Mom friends and none of them admit to any of this, so it's really refreshing to hear that I'm not alone.

  35. I think the worrying about your babies getting hurt or sick-and having super anxiety is really pregnancy related. I worry about my four kiddos-but nothing like I did when I was pregnant. I'm sure you can relate-pregnancy makes EVERYTHING more dramatic.

  36. And when my kids want my food or more so my dessert my immediate response is 'no, it's mommys' and then I'm like damn it…
    If I want them to share I guess I will have to learn, too 🙂

  37. #4 made me literally Lol.
    And #1. Oh how I can relate. I remember bawling to my husband the first few months number 2 was here (they are 20 months apart) and I told him that I felt like I hadn't played or interacted with our firstborn at all. I told him that everything she said or did all I could say was 'no, don't do that' no…no…nooooooo! It was a learning curve to get to a new norm for us.
    I will still tell him if things were crazy that day…almost like a confession. Basically feel like I have to let him know that 'hey hubby sometimes I suck at this and it's really hard…'
    I just try to give myself some grace. We are all doing the best we can to show our kids how much we love them, to make everyone happy, and to keep ourselves sane!

  38. Oh how I love you and this blog. So many good little nuggets here. I cannot wait to hear how it goes with three…love that you want four and I get the same anxiety about my boys. I panic all the time thinking about horrible things happening to the boys…not ok!

  39. Thank you for sharing the "real life " I hate myself when I get impatient with my kids. It's definitely easier to blame other things in life but the advice you're giving yourself is great and I'm stealing it! Love you guys!

  40. I usually don't comment either but you asked a while back what types of posts your readers love… THIS IS IT. Joy, pride, fear, frustration. All of it is beautiful! Thanks for sharing. Reminds me of your earlier blogging days, and I appreciate it!

  41. I am not a mom so I can't give that kind of advice. But, when it comes to your fears for C-sections, a fourth child, how you will sleep, how you manage on such little sleep,dont. Do not worry. Give your worries over to God. Trust in Him and just enjoy your life and children. You are so beyond blessed. And if that isn't enough, I have followed you since the get-go of your blog and you are amazing. You can do anything and make it look so cool while doing it. 🙂

  42. I am not a mom so I can't give that kind of advice. But, when it comes to your fears for C-sections, a fourth child, how you will sleep, how you manage on such little sleep,dont. Do not worry. Give your worries over to God. Trust in Him and just enjoy your life and children. You are so beyond blessed. And if that isn't enough, I have followed you since the get-go of your blog and you are amazing. You can do anything and make it look so cool while doing it. 🙂

  43. Love this post! You are such a good mom, your girls faces say it all. Excited to see baby girl #3 and if you ever need encouragement all of us are here for you.

  44. Thank you for your honesty. Anxiety and mom guilt are no joke. Sometimes I look online and I feel bad that I'm not crafty enough or that my house is a mess or that my 17 month old watched 2 hours of mickey today…but then I find little reminders that I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who loses her patience and then feels horrible later about it. Solidarity, sister. hang in there!
    Ps. I eat chocolate chip waffles almost every day, too before my toddler gets up. Can't kick the habit, don't even care 😉

  45. I love this post. I have a 2.5 year old son and almost 11 month old daughter and some days I feel like I have zero patience. It's hard but I just try to remember that they are so young and little. I worry about my kids so much, especially getting hurt. I also can't get sad stories out of my head. I'm so paranoid of strangers because of all the bad news I hear. It's a mama bear thing. 😉

  46. I struggled with your first one as well recently. Then, a friend's daughter who is only a couple months younger than mine was diagnosed with degenerate neuromuscular disorder. It really threw things into perspective for me. I was so incredibly lucky to have a healthy little girl, and I felt incredibly guilty for ever complaining about the hard days or long nights.


  47. Oh man the mom guilt at night is REAL. I hate yelling or getting frustrated at my little girl. I go to bed at night feeling sad sometimes, too. It's absolutely normal and ok. You're not alone, Jessica! Hang in there. And girl go on with your bad self with those waffles and maternity pants for EVER!!! -NG

  48. I only have one 2.5 year old and I lose my shit with him all. the. time. lately – I feel so guilty. Glad to know I'm not the only one !

    Also I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and see if you've thought about a VBAC ?! Just curious. I know it's been done before!

  49. I just want to encourage you to have a 4th (and more too!!). I am the oldest of 10. Let me tell you, the joy increases with each kid!!! So yeah, just wanted to encourage you with more kids! Kids make things fun!! I look forward to when you next baby arrives!
    Yeah, have you though of VBAC?

  50. It's such a relief to read this blog entry. I just think you're such a great mom and always have fun stuff planned for your girls! It's hard not to compare because sometimes I just feel like I could be doing more with my little one (i'm due in two weeks too) or I shouldn't lose my temper and snap vocally at her before bed time. Being a momma is hard work! It's nice to know the struggles are real and every mom has them. Keep up being an amazing mom, these girls have to have more fun than any other girls I know with you as a their momma!

  51. Love this raw honesty. And judging by how long it took to scroll down and leave a comment, I think everyone else appreciated it too. Sometimes it's liberating to just get it all out there, so good for you for being brave because I promise you we can all relate to these struggles!

  52. 1. We have a 3.5 year old who pushes the limits every. single. night. before bedtime so I often go to bed feeling guilty, because snapping at him seems to be the only way to get his attention to get him to do right. You are not alone.

    2. I have been eating Chocolate Chip Eggo Waffles every single Saturday and Sunday morning for as long as I can remember, and I would eat them Monday – Friday as well if I didn't work. And I'm not even pregnant! And I'm not going to stop either.

    3. GIRL, I feel you on the incessant worrying… I worry constantly and have gotten to the point where I barely even watch the news because of all of the bad things happening out there. Do you remember last summer when that guy in Atlanta left his son in the car and he died?? I stressed out for MONTHS after that worrying that my husband was going to forget our kids in the car, too.

    So bottom line – you're totally normal!! Either that, or we're all crazy! LOL.

    <3 Linds @

  53. This was great. I think we a lot of us suffer from number one, and I think only the best moms do; it shows how much we truly care when we can recognize the mistakes or where we could be better. I've got a two and half year old girl, so I feel ya (though you've got many more cute cookies on your plate). Don't be down on yourself though, I think everyone of your readers would agree you're an incredible and inspiring mama. Number 9 ties into number one, as in it only means you're a great mom …that or we all have major anxiety. People think I've got first time mom syndrome, I think it's just extra mama bear, glad to know it continues with more kids and I'm not a freak. haha.

    Oh and I meant to comment on your minivan blog post and tell you the day after I read it j watched The Ellen Show and Mark Wahlberg was the guest and turns out he drives a tricked out Toyota Sienna. So as I see it, you're as cool as MarkyMark.

    Thanks for the consistently great reads!
    Amanda Blakeley

  54. I delivered #3 just 5 days after you had Eloise. The other 2 were 3 years & 2 years. It was bat s% crazy for a few months but the good news is It GETS BETTER 🙂 I had a c section too and I was positive the crazy was too much in the beginning. Now I can't give the baby stuff away in case there's a #4. So best wishes, your blog is awesome and you will survive!

  55. It is OKAY not to be thrilled with your kiddos all of the time. LOL. Kids can test our patience and be . . . . . . absolutely horrible at times. Don't feel guilty for not reacting "perfectly" to every situation. They are learning from you, and although not fun, your anger/frustration/etc is valid and is okay. Just know that. (& I know you aren't saying that you should never discipline, I just want you to give yourself a break and to realize that your kids are extremely loved and well adjusted (from what I can see), so go easy on yourself. You are doing great!.)

  56. Looks like, from everyone elses comments, that you have lots of reassurance. But I'd like to add that I am 30 & 1/2 weeks pregnant with my first and feel basically the same way you do, without all the extra responsibilities of two children! So, cut yourself some slack. Having read your blog since the beginning, I can tell you are a good person who adores her children!!! Take a deep breathe and know you are doing the best you can! 🙂 Hugs, momma!

  57. Chelsea I too have a 15 month old whiner! She has griped since she could make sounds. I'm betting we aren't the only ones. Haha. Something that has helped a little with mine is teaching her to say "please" since she obviously doesn't know how to ask for that specific thing she wants. It sounds like "psh" and she mostly just does the baby sign language for it but it's a millllllion times better than a whine.

  58. So… I just had my third (all c-sections too) and here is my advice. The short patience thing – that was me to the T – I used to make a joke of it with my kids and say "Mommy Hulk it about to come out!" (they like super heroes). I went to work every day in tears because I felt so bad for yelling and rushing them out the door every morning. I went to bed every night in tears because I felt so bad for yelling and rushing them to bed every night. But what I realized is that – they didn't remember my yelling or short patience by the time I picked them up or when they woke up. It was like "instant forgiveness" and I got a do-over, which I immediately messed up again the next time some one tested my patience – but the point is – your Mom guilt is something we all have. And a word of advice – it doesn't change when you're not pregnant anymore and baby #3 is here – it miiiight get a little worse. Just always make it up to them when you can, the times when there's no stress, no craziness – revel in that and scoop them up and kiss them until they can't take it anymore. They'll remember the love they get the most. As for your wanting a fourth – haha – we were done at 2 as well, #3 was a surprise and I got my tubes tied with my 3rd c-section (because I too had complications and a hard time healing after both of my previous ones) and I'M SO REGRETTING IT!!! Baby #3 has been the best experience. My healing process was fantastic – nothing like the other two amazingly enough. And my third baby is the best baby in the world. I'd have 10 more if they were all like him. He actually slept through the night his first 4 months, I didn't even know babies could do that. My others certainly didn't. So there's hope – you will make it! The first year is like being on Survivor. But some how we make it. Good luck, I'm so excited to see your family grow. xo

  59. You are an amazing mama. You are not alone with loosing your patience, I swear these kiddos are born with the ability to get under our skin. You are so inspiring and lovely! I feel so blessed to be able to follow along your beautiful life and watch your beautiful family grow! Xoxo

  60. Oh thank goodness it's not just me! Almost 40 weeks pregnant and I have ZERO patience with my 18 month old little girl. I love her to pieces but when she's spilling the dogs water all over the kitchen floor or standing on the couch OR walking around with a jar of pasta sauce she managed to get out of a "child proof" cupboard – my patience is non-existent. Then I too have the terrible guilt that could bring me to tears. I cannot wait until I have my body back – then I will feel human again! Love the post, it's refreshing to hear the truths about having little ones (especially while also pregnant). Nothing is more irritating than those who pretend their kids poop jelly beans and rainbows out of their bums 😉

  61. Number 1 hit a little too close to home for me! I am NOT a patient person, and your words definitely reflect everything I'm feeling with my 2.5 yo. It's so hard to be in the moment with a screaming toddler mid-tantrum and not lose your mind. You are inspiring me to try to step outside of the situation and evaluate before yelling. We all need a little more "yes" in our life.

    P.S.- I still wear maternity leggings as pj's and would kill for an Eggo right now!

  62. Thank you for sharing Jessica, especially number one! I'm a working mom from Holland with a 20 month old son and always struggling with trying to be as patient as possible (not always as patient as I hope to be) whilst getting the fam out the door on time. Good to read there are more moms out there who beat themselves up over this as well ;-). Love your blog! Love from the Netherlands!

  63. I hear you!! Mom guilt is the worst. Just last night I was telling Jack how I need to control and have more patience with Elliot. I find myself yelling at him for small things and it's horrible! But don't let it eat you up. At the end of the day those little girls love you so so much and you're a great mama!!

  64. I am currently pregnant with my 4th (I also have a 5 year old, just turned 4 year old, and an 18 months old), so I have 100% been where you are. All 3 have been c-sections and this 4th will be one too. Honesty: recovery from the 3rd section was rough. I think because you can't help but still "mom" the other two. I'm not looking forward to this recovery. You will manage with the feedings, but expect a lot of tv. I know other moms plan activities and such, but I just gave myself grace on screen time. You'll also learn to nurse anywhere and everywhere cover or not. You got this! It'll take some adjustment, but you'll get a handle on it. If you need encouragement shoot me an email! Been there done that!

  65. The good news is you are not alone! And I think this is normal mommy life. It's easy to have these thoughts and concerns. It means you're a good mom and you're doing something right! 🙂 my 2 year old drives me nuts sometimes and she's a crazy wild woman and I lose my patience sometimes too. But that's ok and no mom is perfect! And I'm thinking of having another one soon. But that just means a life more filled with crazy love! I wish you all the best in baby number 3! You will be a great mom to 3 girlies!

  66. First of all, I would like to say how courageous you are for being so honest and sharing these things with us! Second of all, I am sure we can ALL relate at some degree or another. You only have a short while for those emotions to go out the door, and filled with even more love! Then you can sit back and enjoy your margarita in your maternity pants and laugh about it all 🙂 Obviously I do not know you personally but I think you seem like a great mom and you look like you and the babes have a ton of fun. Take the good times with the bad and roll with the punches! They are alive and well, so youre doing something right

  67. Loved this. Mom guilt is so uncool. I feel like we are all just doing our best but it's soo soo real. I also need a minivan.

  68. YES to all of this! I've got 3 weeks left to go in this pregnancy, and zero patience, a huge margarita craving, and secretly eat sweets when my son isn't looking, though that hasn't stopped him from learning the words cookies and chocolate in the last few months. Also, I'm pretty sure #9 is just motherhood and not (completely) pregnancy related. The bad news is that feeling lasts forever. The good news is that makes you a good mom 🙂

  69. I love this. I love it even more because of #1. Because it's something you don't hear about from friends, read about on the blogs, see about on IG. So you feel guilty and feel like you have no one to talk to, because everyone else makes it seem like they have it all put together. And because I had my boys 16 months apart and sometimes I go crazy when my 8 month old is crying and my 2 year old is whining. And it was even worse when I was pregnant with #2 and after he was born and I was learning how to juggle 2 under 2. And I yell and snap at the 2 year old so much and constantly tell him no. I have to question my husband all the time, "am I a good mom?", because sometimes I just don't feel it. And it hurts/sucks even more because he chooses my husband over me 90% of the time.

    Judging by the comments, while I didn't read all 90 of them, it seems like were all just about going through the same thing. Nice to know we aren't alone, isn't it?

    Also, Eloise is so stinking adorable. Both your girls are. Love reading about them and seeing pictures! 😀

    Amanda @

  70. These were actually really cute! I've always said "I'll never own a mini van," but now after driving a Corolla I kind of want one. (; It's ok to cry about everything! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. <3

  71. I have two boys, 3 and 2 and a 3 month old girl. My 2 year old just started sleeping through the night literally weeks before baby girl was born. My sons are 17 months apart so I know how that is with two so young and so close in age. Getting up with a newborn every few hours and staying awake all day has been rough. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it really sucks. I struggle with ppd so even the smallest thing sent me flying over the edge. But it really does get better with each day. My advice would be to get that baby girl on a schedule as soon as you can. That saved me! Her naps are a little more relaxed but I try to keep them about the same time and bed time is always the same. I have sacrificed many outings and dinners to keep her on schedule but it totally helps me be able to spend more time with my boys when I know when I have to tend to my girl.
    Believe me, I have yelled at my boys far more times than I'd like to admit. But kids are so resilient and at the end of the day they still ask for bedtime kisses 🙂 hang in there! Don't be afraid to ask for help, we're super awesome as mothers but we can't do it all all the time 😉

  72. It's anxiety and just being a mom. Honestly, I didn't have anxiety as bad as I do now, before I was a mom! I have to remind myself that my children are young too and that tantrums aren't that big of a deal. I am right there with you! Hang in there, you are doing a great job! 🙂

  73. I've been reading your blog since the beginning but I don't think I've ever commented before. I just had to say thanks for being REAL! It's clear that you are an amazing mom and it's refreshing to hear that you lose your patience at times as well. I have a 2.5yr old and am preggo with twins and almost every day is a struggle to keep my patience in check! I've got to say you are BRAVE for thinking you might want a #4!

  74. Wow I absolutely love #1 and #10 lol. I love how real you are with your followers! Thank you so much for this because I can completely and totally relate!!

  75. Omg, I love you! This post is awesome. While I have something to say for each one, I'll just comment on #1 and #9. #1… I don't really have any great parenting advice to offer or a right/wrong answer, but I think every parent feels this way at some point or another. When I was pregnant with my daughter (Aurora), I swore I would never ever spank and I would never ever yell. I was for sure I would stay calm, cool and collected, no matter the situation, so we could talk it out. However, she is four and I have done both at one point or another. I can't remember where exactly things got easier, but they did. I feel like my patience became stronger and maybe I was able to start thinking more about the guilt I would feel afterword and I would make myself calm down. For a while now, time out has been our best bet. Something about a child being stuck with literally nothing to do for 5. WHOLE. MINUTES. can take her from tantrum to Mother Theresa in a hot second. I know this method doesn't work for everyone, but I feel like you will find what works for you and it will get easier – not all the time, but most of the time. Wow, that was a book. Sorry. #9… I can relate to this more than anything. Ever since Aurora was born, if I hear anything on the news about children getting killed/hurt, I get sick to my stomach and the thought lingers for days, usually bringing me to tears. It's the absolute worst feeling a mother can have.

  76. I totally feel the anxiety right along with you about something bad happening to our babes! I think social media has opened up a way to support families going through these things with their own kids, but in turn caused us to worry so much more about the "what ifs" with our own. I too deal with the bedtime guilt. Thank goodness for new mornings and forgiving babies with smiling faces!

  77. Yes to #9!! I do this all the time that I have to force myself not read the sad story because it will haunt me for days. I've been craving alcohol for weeks now! I have a meltdown every time a restaurant says they don't have virgin mojitos. I mean, how is that even possible?!

  78. I love this, all of it. Relate to it soooo much. Anyway, I just want to put in a vote of confidence for the possibility of a VBAC. I had one for my second daughter who is now 16 months and everything went beautifully. My C-section for my first daughter was an emergency when they suddenly discovered several hours into hard labor that she was breech! But a VBAC after a breech C-section is one of the safest kinds. The only thing I didn't like with my vaginal birth were all the precautions the hospital had to take (extra big IV, etc) but I had a natural birth and it went exactly like I'd hoped. Not sure what your complications are but just wanted to put that out there. Much love and support to you! I can't wait to see your new baby's gorgeous face. Your daughters are breathtaking and your writing style is my favorite.

  79. I wish it would let me paste a link I copied but can't get it too. See if you can find "12 parenting truth bombs" by Jim Gaffigan. So hilarious and true! Also, if you haven't before listen to his stand up on YouTube. "What is it like to have a fourth kid? Imagine your drowning, and then someone hands you a baby." Lol
    I feel exactly the same way. Like, maybe I should have colored with abby today instead of doing that laundry! Or that I shouldn't have yelled at her when she left a full water cup laying around and the baby found it and poured water all over her newly pajamad self right before bedtime. ?
    My baby is almost ONE and she's a little wild thing as well. Wont sit still for a second, yells all the time (for fun) and intent on ruining anything sissy is playing with.
    But girl, we mommies are humans too and we get frustrated and have other chores that must be done, so cut yourself some slack. 🙂
    It's totally okay if you lock yourself in the bedroom for a few minutes during the day while the littles watch tv. Or so I've heard. I don't ever do that. ?

  80. I was just having that very conversation with the hubs 2 days ago about needing to say yes more and no when it really counts. And also about feeling like I'm falling short as a Mumma when I don't respond in the way I consider ideal. He always rallies me and reminds me that I'm holding myself to impossible standards and that none of us are perfect parents. That if anyone asked our daughter what she thinks of me that it would only be wonderful things. Same with your girls Im sure! You can see in their little faces how joy and love are the underpinnings of your family 🙂 just know that if you ever apologize even once for "being grumpy" and give hugs to put it all behind you, that your offspring may go around telling everyone and their mother that day with a forlorn look "Mumma is grumpy!". I don't know this from experience.

  81. I ball my eyes out every time I hear about someone's kid being abused, kidnapped, or sadly, taken from this world. It makes me think just how precious my little ones are to me and how I would tell if I was ever in that position. Makes you think that the little tantrums and endless messes aren't that bad. You'd wish you still had them if your little one was gone….

  82. Some of these thoughts go through my mind on a daily basis. I have 8 kids between 12 years and 16 months. Every day is a challenge and struggle. Did I mention I homeschool as well! All I can offer is enjoy it while you can, because one day they will be 18 and heading off to college and you will wish you had all those little struggles again. Then there will be tears from empty rooms and too much silence. Cherish the yearly years and just go with the flow!!!!

  83. Thank you for suggesting VBAC! I was also going to post a comment that she could research it and get another professional opinion. I know women who have had successful VBACs , even with a midwife at a birthing center, and the entire pregnancy and birth was uncomplicated without unnecessary intervention 🙂 Anyway, just an idea! <3 <3 <3

  84. Hey pretty momma! you are not alone with #1. This is something I'm also trying to work on as well. Not sure if its because with preschool ending for the summer Elle is now on a new schedule but man this past week was just crazy with her. I have been loving her being 4 and it feels like we are back in the 2's. no joke. It is just nice reading that it is not just me that has days like that. Your girls are so lucky to call you mom!

  85. You're totally in my head!! LOL I don't know how you do it. My one drives my to drink sometimes and I cannot imagine being in your shoes. I imagine it's only this challenging since they are so little, and it will get easier/harder as new stages of growth arrive! Praying for your health, sanity and that the days move quickly so you can enjoy that margarita!! ?

  86. I fully fully hear your on the #1 and the mama guilt is so so strong! You are doing an amazing job, being preggy and having two rascals to chase is tough! But hearts are full and time is short. My almost 1 year old is a shocking sleeper at the moment and my little 3 year old boy is copping the short patience mama a little too much at the moment! So i feel for you 100%. We need to remember to take time out, breathe and study those little profiles of our sweet babies, they're growing too fast.

    I'm calling you out on #7 – you totally have a name picked out!

    PS I want 4 too but nervous about the 3rd and 4th c section!

  87. I really appreciate this post! It's easy to see your pictures and all the great stuff you do with the girls and think you've got it all together, and think to myself "Why don't I?" (and I only have a toddler!) Of course I love your posts and your positivity, but it's helpful for a mom like me to hear that it's not always perfect and I'm not alone. (lost my patience a lot today….it feels horrible!) So, thank you! You appear to be doing a great job in this life as a mom/husband/etc. 🙂

  88. I both laughed and cried while reading your post. It's like I am reading my own words… I follow you all the way from The Netherlands. With having 2 girls at more or less the same age, it's nice to read I'm not alone. It's mommy madness sometimes, but I enjoy this craze called motherhood!

  89. I had the same thing after baby #1! Good rule of thumb is that if the anxiety doesn't go away after two weeks postpartum, bring it up as a concern to your doctor. It's important to take care of yourself with so many little ones depending on you. It's worth it!!! And, NO ONE talks about it but it's super common.

  90. Completely with y'all. Got a 15 month old whiner myself. Maybe it's bc they're girls? I don't remember my son being so whiny at this age!

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