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Holidays, Motherhood · December 14, 2015

Mom Life as told by Kevin McCallister

After Claire was born, we quickly realized that having three kids can sometimes feel a lot like having ten kids. And more often than not, when two of them are sleeping or playing so nice, the other is doing their best to cause chaos, which always makes me want to yell “There are fifteen people in this house, and you’re the only one who has to make trouble!” So this is for you, fellow moms & Home Alone lovers, all the times during the day where Kevin McCallister says it best.

Harper, the minute I think I got away with waking up to have coffee in silence before everyone else is awake.

When I finally get the babies down for naps & Harper is about to yell something or hit a button on the loudest toy in the room.

 

When I finally get a caffeine buzz & want to do all the fun things.

When I think I have my shit together carrying a kid, my diaper bag, a sippy cup, my coffee & five other things.

ย How I feel when the mailman rings the doorbell during naptime.

When I catch the kids doing whatever it is they know they aren’t supposed to be doing after I have been in the other room for five seconds.

The look I get from the cashier at the grocery store when I roll up to the register with three kids, three bottles of wine & a frozen pizza.

When I am sneaking into the girls room at night in the pitch black and step on a lego or the razor sharp heel of a princess shoe.

When I’m kinda mad at Brandon for coming home late from work but really I can’t contain my excitement to see him because KIDS ARE CRAY.

 

Can you relate? Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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53

Posted By: Jessica Garvin · In: Holidays, Motherhood

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Comments

  1. Dawn says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Yes to all of this and I only have two kids!

    Reply
  2. Stephanie Albro says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    HAHA SO GOOD. Best use of GIFs I've seen all season ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  3. Anonymous says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Hysterical!!

    Reply
  4. Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Best. Post. Ever.

    Reply
  5. Erica @ Whimsical September says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    You are so brilliant… this a RIOT!! Love it!

    Reply
  6. Amanda says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Hilarious!!

    Reply
  7. East Willow Grove says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Can TOTALLY relate and I work outside the home but I can only imagine how it would be at home with three ๐Ÿ™‚

    Chelsea | East Willow Grove

    Reply
  8. Sarah says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    LOL!! This post was awesome!! Definitely brought a smile to my face ๐Ÿ™‚

    We have two little girls (ages 3 and 2), and go back and forth between wanting a third. I kinda of think another one might sink us, LOL, but you never know what the future holds!

    Love reading your stories! Thanks for sharing with us ๐Ÿ™‚

    And Merry Christmas to you, too!!

    – Sarah http://www.thefrugalmillionaireblog.com

    Reply
  9. Sarita @ it's my girls' world says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Hahaha!! Loved this!!!

    Reply
  10. KM Angel says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    So perfect!! Thanks for the giggle!

    Reply
  11. Kristi says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    So great. Love this!

    Reply
  12. Anonymous says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  13. lidia says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    oh my gosh, you are just the best! only have one kid and can relate to all of these hahha love you.

    Reply
  14. Rachel Bakken says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    OMG, SO accurate! Haha!

    Reply
  15. Jillian L says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Love it!!

    Reply
  16. Kelsey Dewey says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    o m g LOL this was awesome

    Reply
  17. Kalyn Yakubik says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Best. Post. Ever. Like ever. I'm dying laughing over here. Always makes me feel less crazy knowing I'm not the only one who is trying to tame a zoo ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  18. City Style Country Living says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    This is awesome!!

    Reply
  19. Miranda says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    This is possibly the greatest blog post I've ever seen! I've read it 3x!

    Miranda
    lifeinthelowcountrysc.blogspot.com

    Reply
  20. Elaine Welte says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Ha! This is hilarious!!!! Love it!

    Reply
  21. Emily says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    OMG THIS IS THE BEST!!!!!!!

    Reply
  22. MeganB. says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    This was the BEST!!

    Reply
  23. Celeste says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Best. Lunch break. EVER. So so funny, I even forgive you for making me cackle loudly multiple time during naptime. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  24. L.J. Chaney says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Hilarious! Bless you and your cow. If you haven't already, you should read the book, 'Toddlers are Assholes' by Bunmi Laditan. It makes me feel like a war hero in the kid wars.

    Reply
  25. Reba says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Love this!!! So true!

    Reply
  26. katie snead says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    ha!!!!!! THE BEST EVER!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  27. Julienne says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Lol. I have experienced every one of these feelings. Sometimes all on the same day. I have two, two and under. I don't think I would survive a third. Good job!

    Reply
  28. Katie McKenzie says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    This is hilarious!!! I can identify so much!
    godslittlegrace.blogspot.com
    Katie

    Reply
  29. Jess Scott says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Hahahahah, this is the most amazing post I've ever seen!!!! But, if you are able to compare your life to Kein McCallister, I'd say that's a win!!

    Reply
  30. Kaylee Koch says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    AND… THIS is why you're the best blogger out there! HAHAHAHA

    http://www.appleofmyivy.com

    Reply
  31. Laura Wright says

    December 14, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    This is perfection! All so accurate. Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  32. Jillian Marquez says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    OMG!! Laughing so hard coffee came out of nose! I can totally relate hardcore to the cashier/wine/frozen pizza and when I try to sneak into the room situationโ€ฆ.S**t just got real!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  33. Jessica DeFranco says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is AWESOME, and SPOT on!! I have a toddler (21 months) and two month old twin girls…it's pretty much chaos all day and I can totally relate to all of these, especially the last one ๐Ÿ™‚ Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!

    Reply
  34. Ashleigh Harrison says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Haha these are all so true!!!

    Reply
  35. i'm ashley... says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    THIS. hahaโ€ฆ this is amazing.

    Reply
  36. shannon swol says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Yessssss on every level!

    Reply
  37. Bree Gale says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This post was the best!

    Reply
  38. Anonymous says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    I absolutely adore you and your blog. Thank you for always brightening my day! I received the koozies in the mail and just can't wait to give them out as gifts! Merry Christmas to you and your family!!

    Reply
  39. Stephanie Allen says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!!!!!!

    Reply
  40. Andrea Worley says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This was so funny & spot on! LOVE!

    Reply
  41. Katie says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    I am silent laughing at work reading this….so perfect!

    Reply
  42. Kayla Zachary says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is so good.

    Reply
  43. Tiffany Sewell says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is my favorite post ever!!!

    Reply
  44. Lindsey says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is fantastic!! Love it so much!
    Lindsey
    http://www.careerintherearviewmirror.blogspot.com

    Reply
  45. hazlnut10 says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    LOL! OMG this is seriously amazing!! Best post ever!! LOVE. Merry Christmas to you and your fam ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  46. Heather Dawn says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    I absolutely love this! I only have a 5 month old right now, so I can only imagine what its like with 3 littles! You seem to be rocking it though!

    Reply
  47. Christina Gathright says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Bahahaha! Yes to it all! Thank god for wine and frozen pizzas ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  48. Tiffany Kinder says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    …and this is why i follow you and your blog-FAVORITE post!! This is spot on. Thanks for the entertainment ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  49. nessers says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Adorable!

    Reply
  50. Linley Noel says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Love this so much!!

    Reply
  51. Maria says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    I. FEEL. YOU.

    Reply
  52. myfourarrows says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Fellow mom of 3 girls.. 5, 4, and 1. TRUTH. 100% TRUTH.

    Reply
  53. -STEPHANIE says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    THIS HAD ME ROLLINNNNNNG!

    Reply
  54. Tanie says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    omg when people knock on my door during naptime… I have little dogs that usually aren't TOO barky, except when someone comes to the door. I actually made a sign that I hang in my front window during naps that says "BABIES SLEEPING PLEASE DO NOT KNOCK CALL" & then my phone number. Of course, now I have to make sure my phone is on silent because the dogs have learned that when it rings there might be someone at the door.

    Reply
  55. Nicole says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Hah, cute! : D

    Reply
  56. Krissy says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    This is the best! Spot on!! Hilarious!

    Reply
  57. Scoobyloves2004 says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    I have 8 with #9 on the way. It's like that all the time over here! It always sounds like a jet plane taking off in our house. Never a dull moment.

    Reply
  58. Mrs. Neuby says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    I love this! That caffeine buzz is so me!

    Reply
  59. Nicky Eggleston says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    Efffffff yessssss

    Reply
  60. Milena Enguidanos-Gonzalez says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    Ummm probably my favorite post ever-haha. Or at least in the top 10 ๐Ÿ˜‰ my favorite-when the mailman arrives. Haha, even worse here with two protective, crazy schnauzers!
    โ™กMilena

    Reply
  61. Anonymous says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    I just read this and loved it. I then read/showed it to my hubby and he loved it! Well done Jessica.

    Reply
  62. Stephanie Andriola says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    HILARIOUS! I needed that….thanks!!! haha

    Reply
  63. Bridget Forney says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    Nailed it.

    Reply
  64. Elizabeth Birenbaum says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    OMG this is pure perfection. Spot on.

    Reply
  65. Brandi Little says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    I was literally laughing out loud to this the entire time. So accurate! Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  66. Briseidy says

    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am

    amazing! hahahaha…just finished watching Home Alone 2 ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  67. Erin Peyerk says

    December 15, 2015 at 3:16 am

    I think this is my favorite post ever!! Hilarious! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  68. Jessica J says

    December 15, 2015 at 3:16 am

    Oh my goodness! Love it!!

    Reply
  69. Anonymous says

    December 15, 2015 at 3:16 am

    OMG this is hilarious and so true!! I agree 100%! Best post ever! Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  70. Christina @ Embracing Simple says

    December 15, 2015 at 3:16 am

    This is my favorite post EVER. Christmas epicness, Jess!

    Reply
  71. Sharon says

    December 15, 2015 at 3:16 am

    Seriously the BEST! My daughter has been loving on Home Alone the last few weeks, so this made my whole Christmas season! ๐Ÿ™‚ Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  72. Angie Gottlieb says

    December 15, 2015 at 3:32 am

    Hahha hilarious! Right on point with all of them! Merry Christmas!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  73. Abby says

    December 15, 2015 at 3:32 am

    Bahaha!!!! This is my favorite post … EVER!!!

    Reply
  74. Diana says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    I've been following your blog since the days of chalkboards with Harper. This is DEFINITELY your best post yet!!

    Reply
  75. Anonymous says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    These are so true. Especially the one about people ringing the door bell during nap time!!! ^^

    Reply
  76. Hannah A Quiver Full Blog says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    i seriously cannot get over this whole post. i am dying!! you are my hero. too bad your side of atlanta and my side of atlanta are so far apart. you crack me up!

    Reply
  77. Southern Elle says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    This is all so good. So spot on! This takes me back to the early days of Little Baby Garvin. Nice!

    Reply
  78. Betsey Navarro says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha this is hilarious and right on Point!!!totally made my morning!!!

    Reply
  79. Lee Family says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    too funny ๐Ÿ™‚ Our little ones are 4, 3 and 19 months. Cheers to the craziness of life of a SAHM! and to anyone who says 3 is kind of the same as 2. – NOT AT ALL – Merry Christmas!!!!

    Reply
  80. Cecilou says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Right on, you are exactly right!!! Love this movie, I need to watch it now!

    Reply
  81. natasha {schue love} says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Genius!

    Reply
  82. Alex M-S @ Whitehall & Rose says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    This is the greatest thing. Ever. I've watched Home Alone at least 7 times already this season and even saw it in theaters for the 25th anniversary. I've worn my Home Alone sweatshirt several times and got a "Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal" mug for my office white elephant and really just want to end up with my own gift somehow. Home Alone is a way of life. Am I getting creepy with my obsession yet? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  83. Sadie Cummings says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Couldn't be more spot on! So so funny!!

    Reply
  84. Michelle B says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    I love this!

    Reply
  85. Rebecca Ruby says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    This is absolutely fantastic! One of my faves–movie and post!

    Reply
  86. Laura Hugo says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Best. Post. Ever. You nailed it! BTW, my son looks exactly like Macaulay Culkin (we get the comparison almost daily) so I especially appreciated this ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  87. Kat Nietzel says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    You crushed it!

    Reply
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    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Talk To His Heart Review

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    http://togetherweearn.com/profiles/blogs/talk-to-his-heart-program-review

    Reply
  89. Danielle Siero says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Thank you so much for making me laugh (while nursing my babe at 2am)!

    Reply
  90. Unknown says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    This was great!!!!??

    Reply
  91. Megan Schmitt says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    OMG that is so accurate! Love it! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Weebabyschmitt.blogspot.com

    Reply
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    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Greg Insider Method Review

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    http://diabetesescapeplanreview.com/greg-insider-method-review/

    Reply
  93. Kristy {Seven Graces} says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Best post ever! Love it, Garvin!

    Reply
  94. Ally says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Omg, this is hilarious! I can relate on so many levels!

    Reply
  95. Melody says

    December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    Ha! This is so awesome.
    I agree with it all, but the Kevin wave to the burglars is so spot on when you're ctaching your littles doing something they shouldn't be.

    Reply
  96. Becky Hughston says

    December 16, 2015 at 12:26 am

    This had me ROLLING! so freaking funny. Love your blog!

    Reply
  97. Alicen Albert says

    December 16, 2015 at 12:27 am

    This is your best post!! I was laughing out loud!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  98. Danielle says

    December 16, 2015 at 2:29 am

    Best compilation ever. Have to watch this movie now. Thanks for keeping your blog real and not selling out to become a human ad!

    Reply
  99. Joleen Pete says

    December 17, 2015 at 1:41 am

    I am literally watching this and as I was scrolling through I totally snorted! Hahaha

    Reply
  100. Amanda says

    December 17, 2015 at 1:41 am

    Love this! And Home Alone is my favorite Xmas movie!! Also, I put a note on my front door that says "Please do not ring doorbell, baby is sleeping."

    Reply
  101. Ashton Bagley says

    December 17, 2015 at 1:41 am

    This just made my (hump) day!! Love Home Alone and love your witty humor.

    Reply
  102. Rizzle says

    December 17, 2015 at 1:52 am

    This is SO good! Lol

    Reply
  103. Amanda says

    December 17, 2015 at 1:52 am

    So hard to choose! I love all the gold foil cards !

    Reply
  104. Amanda Buccieri says

    December 17, 2015 at 1:52 am

    So hard to choose! I love all the gold foil cards!

    Reply
  105. Amanda Buccieri says

    December 17, 2015 at 1:52 am

    So hard to choose! I love all the gold foil cards!

    Reply
  106. Liz Timm says

    December 17, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    love. love. love. love home alone, love your blog, love the family photo!

    Reply
  107. Kelley @LoveLikeCrazy says

    December 18, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    This is hysterical!! Obsessed.

    Reply
  108. .the mcguires. says

    December 21, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    This is so on point haha!

    Reply
  109. Isaac and Jenni Marshall says

    December 21, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    This.is.brilliant!!!

    Reply
  110. Anonymous says

    December 28, 2015 at 3:04 am

    This is the BEST!!!!

    Reply
  111. Sarfin Miah says

    January 4, 2016 at 1:38 am

    This is the greatest thing. Ever. I've watched Home Alone at least 7 times already this season and even saw it in theaters for the 25th anniversary. I've worn my Home Alone sweatshirt several times and got a "Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal" mug for my office white elephant and really just want to end up with my own gift somehow. Home Alone is a way of life. Am I getting creepy with my obsession yet? ๐Ÿ˜‰
    http://www.babyfollow.com

    Reply

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