Toddler Tales

My favorite posts to write. So many times I have stumbled across old stories about the girls that I have written & I am so so so glad that I documented them. Kids say the funniest things & it is easily one of the most rewarding things as a parent. So next time you get sad that your baby is growing up too quickly, just remember, you have so much to look forward to when they start talking! πŸ˜‰

Totally unrelated picture, but, hey look! Claire is sitting up!!! πŸ™‚
Striped Dress & Tights by June & January

 Eloise has started saying “mik at me! mik at me!” when she wants someone to look at her, anytime she is doing something funny or is trying to get our attention. The other day, she was yelling for Harper, “sissy, mik at me! sissy!” but Harper wasn’t paying attention, so Eloise ran up and tapped her right on on the top of the head and yelled “YOO HOO!?”

Sometimes you don’t want to admit when your kids are exactly like you, like the other day, on our way home from the doctor’s office, I drove through Starbucks. Harper asked if they could have blueberries (the Starbucks at our Target always has dried blueberries that go in the oatmeal, and the sweet barista always gives them to the girls), so I asked if they had some. The barista said no they only had regular blueberries, so I told Harper that we wouldn’t order any because we had regular blueberries at home. Her response? “Oh, then you don’t need to get coffee too right, because we have regular coffee at home?” Touche.

Eloise loves to brush her teeth. I can actually take a whole (although quick) shower just by turning our bathtub on to a slow drip & giving her a little toothpaste on her toothbrush. The other night after baths, she brushed her teeth and stomped over to the vanity to put it away. She was looking at Brandon & I with a huge grin, reaches over, yanks open the drawer, slams her toothbrush on top the counter, shuts the drawer & proudly walks away. We don’t know if she did it on purpose, or if she actually thought she put her toothbrush in the drawer, but we were dying laughing.

A few weeks ago, I spilled my entire venti iced coffee all over the car as I was pulling my diaper bag out of the front seat & knocked it over. It wasn’t pretty. Later that night, Brandon was giving Harper & Eloise a bath while I nursed Claire in our bed & this conversation took place.
Harper: something happened to mama today
Brandon: oh yea, what?
Harper: She spilled her whole coffee all over the car
Brandon: oh no, really?
Harper: yep, and then she said a bad word.
Brandon: what did she say?
Harper: damnit and fucking.

Mom of the year. 

The girls still love their play kitchen, and every day they make all sorts of pretend food to feed to Brandon & I, or baby Claire who will always open her mouth for an empty spoon. Harper will bring me things and tell me it is lemon meringue pie oatmeal or carrot and hummus pot pie. Every time Eloise brings me something and I ask what it is, “TETCHUP!!!!” πŸ™‚

And probably the funniest yet. Brandon had just gotten out of the shower & was standing in the bathroom in his underwear. Kids, you know, they are used to seeing a saggy diaper, because it is full, right? So Harper comes in the bathroom and stops dead in her tracks, points to Brandon’s you-know-what and says “uh, dad, ya got poop?”

Four year olds, for the win.


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  1. Stories like these are some of my favorites, they can just be so funny! I love the things Harper said the best, especially the conversation she had with Brandon when she mentioned you said a bad word. You might want to be a little more careful about what you say around your girls!

  2. So. Much. Hilarious!! I seem to ALWAYS lose my phone around the house, and then when we need to go somewhere I'm always looking for it and a few curse words will be muttered. My 5 year old said, "Mom, Jesus is watching." Uuuuuggggghhhhhh! Thanks kid. Lol
    If only I could just keep up with my phone. It's so frustrating. I definitely have a bad case of mommy brain.
    Things are never boring around with these kiddos. πŸ˜‰

  3. ??? hysterical! I'm a teacher in Marietta and I always say that teachers and parents should write a book on things that kids say. It would be best seller for sure!

  4. Oh my gosh, that last paragraph put such a grin on my face! TOO FUNNY! You guys had to have been dying after that one. Love your stories and sweet photos of the girls! <3

  5. These posts are my FAVORITE. Our three year old just noticed her dad's you-know-what and said the same thing.

    The talking stage just might be my favorite. and you obviously need to give that girl some more TETCHUP πŸ˜‰

  6. Thanks for the laugh. I remember so many stories with my two little ones wish I had written all of them down so I would not have to rely on my memory though. What a great gift this blog will be for the girls someday.

  7. Yes, yes, yes! Literally laughed out loud! I have 2 girls the same age as Harper and Eloise. πŸ™‚ all these sayings sound so familiar. I probably would have also cried if I spilt my coffee, haha!

  8. I love all of your toddler stories! Thank you for sharing. I'm having a particularly crazy day with my kiddos and it is just good to know that there is someone else out there dealing with the same kind of circus antics. πŸ™‚ Cheers to mommahood!

  9. Bahahaha these are hysterical! Don't you just love the things that kids say? Our 23 month old little girl has just started asking for us to play with her, but instead of saying "play with me" she says "play with you." But she can't say "play" so it just comes out "with you." However, when she says with, it sounds more like "Eff" so when she asks you to play with her she says, "Eff you!!" And if you tell her to wait a minute she starts yelling, "EFF YOOOOU!!!! EFF YOOOOU, MOMMY!!" I die every single time. Sometimes I delay the process of actually playing with her just so I can hear her say it. Lol.

  10. Your favorite posts to write and my favorite posts to read!! Hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

    So what was your husband's reply to Harper's poop question? πŸ˜€

  11. Peed my pants laughing at the "she said a bad word" and the "ya got poop?" LOL. So amazing.
    And the coffee-at-home thing?!?! CRAZY how smart they are so little an age!!!
    My son is almost 3 and I just love the things he says. Love love love.

  12. I actually laughed out loud when I read the coffee story. Kids are fantastic!

    My niece (4yo at the time) walked in on my brother going to the bathroom. She pointed to you-know-what and said "what is that, a finger!?" My brother was't prepared and just said… "yes." Her eyes got wide and said "that's a BIIIIIIG finger" and walked out. Probably one of my favorite stories of all time.

  13. I almost spit out my lunch laughing at this, while sitting at work, at a client's office. Love these posts the most! Thanks (to you and your sweet family) for the laughs. Also, I am trying to work on keeping the curse words at a minimum these days – I have a nine mouth old who only says "mumma" but I wouldn't be surprised if her second word was something that should definitely not come out of her sweet mouth! It's harder than it seems.

  14. I literally just LoL'ed while on my lunch break! The bath time story was hilarious! You're so right though, as much as I hate to see them grow up, hearing them talk like little people is the best!

  15. These posts are the most refreshing and always give me a good laugh. Raising little ones is full of surprises. Some you laugh at and some make you completely question your parenting (daily for me). Lots of love to your family full of girls! Ive got three with a fourth on the way and they really are the best.

  16. Thanks for the laughs this morning! ? I'm learning the ropes with my first baby, and find myself mourning the loss of her tiny-ness (she was a preemie). Good reminder that talking makes babes so much fun!

  17. Um, these stories are hilarious! I was reading them on a few minutes of free time while my students were working on an assignment and you had me laughing out loud. Love it!

  18. So cute!!! My 3year calls ketchup "Cat-purrrr". She been also going through a fearful stage where she wakes up scared in the night the other night I asked her what was wrong & she said Superman was getting my legs ?

  19. OMG!!! DYING!!! I love this. My favorites for sure are the last one about Brandon and the one where she calls you out for having coffee at home. Touche Harper! I can't help but wonder… did she get the blueberries after that comment? LOL.

  20. Oh my god! I must start writing these sorts of things down as my two year old comes out with the most hilarious things! I was actually crying laughing reading this! Definitely brightened a rainy day in the UK! Xo

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